Sue's skirt had pulled up her legs, revealing her tanned thighs. She tried to pull it down but the bucket seats of her car made that difficult.Tommy drove to a small Italian restaurant that they went to on occasion. It was quiet and intimate with a genuine Mediterranean look. The tables were covered in red checked table clothes and each had an old wine bottle in the center with a lit candle. There was even a violinist playing music.Dinner went great and was very relaxing. Sue even let Tommy have a couple glasses of wine. Sue wanted to make him feel more grown up. He certainly needed some confidence building.Sue had quite a bit more wine than Tommy. She felt a little tipsy but also warm and relaxed.Tommy had no trouble talking to his mom. The wine had loosened his tongue just a bit. Besides, it wasn't like it was a real date, he thought.They talked about school, friends, music, movies; all the things that a boy and girl would talk about on a date. Occasionally, Sue would point out. .. secret love that I knew could never be.For that, in truth, was what I felt; I loved him. And not in the manner of a normal mother, oh, no! In the manner of a woman and a man. I wanted him to protect me as I cared for him, to warm my bed, to prove his love for me on my body. I lost count of how many times I had sobbed myself to sleep knowing the impossibility of my dreams, or tried to work it out of my system by masturbating and imagining I was with someone, anyone else. It never worked, though; my thoughts always returned to Brandon, muscles rippling powerfully as he vanquished anything that threatened me.After a few sessions with the counsellor that had not helped- and how could they, for I lied to her about the cause of my stress- she suggested that I try writing down my feelings and thoughts, then burn the letter to myself, symbolically ending that chapter of my life. She claimed it was a powerful tool, that organising my jumbled mind and emotions then destroying them would be.
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